


Post Problems

by JA_Authoress



Series: Muggle Mishaps [11]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas 1978, Fluff, M/M, Most definitely, kind of, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 16:18:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5381804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JA_Authoress/pseuds/JA_Authoress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius discovers there's a muggle tradition of sending Christmas cards.</p><p>“I’m not sure about this card, does it really scream ‘I hope you die a horrifically horrible and painful death, Merry Christmas’?”</p><p>“Well, maybe it doesn’t scream it, but it does say just that.”</p><p>“I’ll take it!”</p><p>“Padfoot, are you actually sending a card to Snape?”</p><p>“Of course, Moony! It’s Christmas!”</p><p>"... I have to lick the envelope AND the stamp?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post Problems

December 7, 1978

Another stressful morning at the bakery complete, Remus found himself taking the long way back to his flat. A batch of cookies had slightly burnt, and now sat nestled in between his extra scarf and a book of short stories Lily had recommended.

He could only imagine what sort of mess Sirius had gotten himself into, or what weird plan he’d concocted while he was alone all morning.

It was almost too soon before he’d reached the ninth floor. He’d made it through two cookies and half a short story.

“Moony!”

Speak of devil. The devil suddenly launched himself at the werewolf, who was a bit snowy. The devil didn’t seem to mind though.

“I haven’t even taken off my shoes yet.”

“Right! Hurry in, we’ve got a lot to do today.”

“Is that so?” Remus shed his layers and quickly slithered into his bedroom. “What do we have to do today?”

“Well,” Sirius barged into his room. In his defence, the door was slightly cracked open. Remus did his best to ignore him. Changing out of his work clothes was top priority. Stripping in front of Sirius was just an added bonus, really. “It wasn’t on your list, but I was at Prongs’s this morning—”

“Did Lily hex you?”

“No! Well, not right away at least. I went over at exactly 9:01. I may have jumped on their bed again, though. She nearly put boils on my nose.”

“How dare she, how are you supposed to get all the ladies in London without your perfect nose?”

“Eh, who needs the ladies when I’ve got you though, right?” Sirius grinned, sending Remus’s stomach fumbling over itself. 

Remus distracted himself by pulling his second favourite Christmas jumper (the green one with white reindeer. Sirius was currently wearing his favourite one).

“You were saying, Padfoot.”

Sirius shook his head a bit.

“Right! Well, there were a bunch of cards on their mantel, and strung up along the wall. Naturally, I asked Evans why her card collection grew—because when we went over on the weekend, there were only three—and she said it was a muggle tradition to send out cards during the holidays. Why wasn’t this on my list?”

“It didn’t cross my mind.”

It did, in fact, cross his mind. Remus was just hoping Sirius would never find out about it. Damn Lily and her muggle traditions.

“We’ve got a lot of ground to cover, Moony. Eat your lunch quick, we’re heading down to Sarah’s shop. I saw some brilliant cards there last time.”

“Do you have any idea how expensive that would be?”

“Don’t worry, Moony, this is my treat.” Sirius grinned wolfishly.

*one and a half hours later*

Remus hid in the corner of the shop, nibbling on his burnt cookies and reading his book. He was just within earshot of Sirius and Sarah, just in case—or rather, when he did something ridiculous.

“I’m not sure about this card, does it really scream ‘I hope you die a horrifically horrible and painful death, Merry Christmas’?”

“Well, maybe it doesn’t scream it, but it does say just that.”

“I’ll take it!”

“Pads—Sirius, are you actually sending a card to Snape?”

“Of course, Moony! It’s Christmas!”

*one hour later*

“My hand is cramping up! Moony, how are you still functioning?”

“Well, you are the one who is writing out each card individually. Plus, I had a lot of practice back in school. You know, writing essays and what have you.”

“Oh right! Essays. How’s this for McGonagall’s?”

‘I hope you’re missing us just as much as we’re missing you. Christmas isn’t the same without exploding turkey feathers, is it? I hope your holidays aren’t too boring without us. May your House be filled with points this coming year. Regards, the Marauders + Lily Evans’

Accompanying the beautiful professionally handmade card was their Christmas photo from yesterday. 

“Brilliant. How many more of these do I have to sign?”

“About fifty three.”

“Bugger.”

*two more hours after that*

“Padfoot, how did you find all these addresses?”

“Magic, my dear Moony. That and Evans was kind enough to help start a Floo-tree and get all the addresses for me.”

“She’s very helpful, isn’t she?” Remus finished writing the last address on the envelope. 

“Yeah, and she got almost two hundred copies of yesterday’s photo!”

“Really? That was quick.” There was probably magic involved. Remus wasn’t about to burst his muggle bubble over that though. “Here, start licking.”

Sirius looked down at the envelop and stamp Remus had just shoved into his hands.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Remus thought showing would be more effective than telling. He licked the envelope, sealing it shut, then moved onto the stamp.

“… I have to lick the envelope AND the stamp?!”

*thirty-two minutes later*

“Why is there so much licking, Moony?!”

“You wanted it to be as muggle as possible. Keep licking. This was your brilliant idea.”

“I didn’t realize there would be so much licking though. I can think of at least three better uses for my tongue right now.”

Remus paused half way through his second last envelope, he tried desperately not to watch Sirius’s tongue in action.

“Bugger.”

“What’s that?”

“Nothing.”

*Twenty minutes later*

“What do you mean these three require extra postage?” Sirius fairly growled at the clerk at the post office.

“Sirius, just pay the man and let’s move on.”

“I am not licking anything else today!”

“Umm, sir, I can put it on for you,” the poor clerk’s beady eyes darted between the odd pair. “There’s no need for—erm—any more—uh—licking.”

Sirius’s frown was miraculously wiped from his face.

“Oh, that’s all right!” he threw down the money. “Keep the change, mate. Ta!”

Remus would never lick another envelope again. Even if Sirius threatened him. There would be no more licking.

Out of no where, something wet slid across his exposed left cheek.

“Padfoot!”

“You had a crumb! What else was I supposed to do?”

“Tell me, or wipe it off with your hand like a normal human. I thought you were finished with licking for the day.”

“I always make exceptions for you, Moony.”

**Author's Note:**

> Eh, not overly happy with this one, but here we are. Not quite as long as the last two, but over 1000 words. 
> 
> If any one wants to attempt fanart for the Marauder + Lily Christmas photo, PLEASE let me know! I tried to get my friend to try, but she refused because "drawing people takes forever".
> 
> Leave a kudos/comment if you liked it! Subscribe if you want lovely notification when I upload a new one. We've still got all of December to get through!


End file.
